UPDATED ON: NOVEMBER 20, 2024
Have you ever wondered why we need executive presence? Why is it becoming a must-have skill set?
Executive presence is the ability to exude confidence, communicate clearly and eloquently, and command attention, which inspires others. The good news is that you can strengthen your leadership presence through focused practice.
In reality, executive presence does not come easily and naturally to women. From a young age, our interactions and experiences shape our habits and self-image. We’ve been told what is expected of us and how to act and behave. In a male-dominated leadership world, women struggle to balance being “nice” with a “can-do” attitude and continue to undervalue their potential.
A study highlighted in The Atlantic (Kay & Shipman, 2014) reveals that women are more likely than men to underestimate their abilities, even when they are equally or more qualified. This lack of confidence and impostor syndrome are key factors that hold many women back from taking charge of their lives, leading teams, and inspiring people to believe in their vision and mission.
In some ways, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy where women underestimate their capabilities, end up paralyzed by their doubts and fears, and accept their situation.
The face of leadership is changing. Many old ways of operating our businesses and communities are no longer working. The skills required to thrive today – such as empathy, communication, inclusiveness, and collaboration – come more naturally to women. Feminine Leadership is leading the way in the new economy, and women are called to stand in their power and grow their personal presence. In this article, I share four proven ways to develop and boost your executive presence:
As women, we often worry about the impact our decisions have on those around us, particularly our families. Many of us don’t even entertain the idea of chasing our dreams because it feels risky or selfish. And when some of us decide to follow our passion, we tend to put in place a plan B before we even start: falling back into an unfulfilling and safe job, giving up on our dream, or moving back to our old city or country.
Having a plan B is a good business strategy, but not when launching a new business or going after that dream we have put on hold for years. Plan B can make us believe that we are doing the responsible thing by having a backup plan, but it can be detrimental to achieving our goals. The issue with this strategy is that we unconsciously entertain the option of failure and having a way out when things get hard, or when the rejection becomes unbearable. Research by Dr. Jihae Shin (2014) found that having a backup plan can reduce commitment and persistence toward achieving primary goals. Your plan B becomes your safety net and may hinder you from taking the necessary uncomfortable action to execute your plan A.
So, the first step to developing your executive presence is not to have a plan B. Give yourself a timeframe where you dedicate yourself entirely and energetically to making your vision a reality. Give yourself one to two years to focus solely on launching your business, getting your dream job, getting your college or university degree, moving to your favorite city, hitting your investment goals, or meeting your ideal partner. Be intentional with your plan A by focusing on your desire and trusting your ability to create it.
Women have been preconditioned to lean back and hide from the spotlight. Many develop behaviours where they lower their gaze or take less space in public, become self-conscious about how they dress, and some try to conceal their women’s features to avoid attracting the wrong attention.
This accumulated behavior conveys that we are not confident and unsure about who we are. According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 rule, non-verbal communication accounts for 93% of how we convey confidence and authority. 7% of our communication is verbal. In contrast, non-verbal communication, including vocal tonality and facial expression, makes up 38% and 55%, respectively. So, almost 93% of our communication is body language. How we hold ourselves expresses our trust and authority to others and provides an accurate view of who we are. Dr. Amy Cuddy’s research (2012) further supports that adopting expansive “power poses” can increase confidence and lower stress hormones in as little as two minutes.
So, the next time you are in a meeting or gathering, at work with colleagues or clients, or on a Zoom meeting, consciously own the space around you, be aware of your posture, use expansive open movements, make eye contact, and use an assertive voice. Study how professional speakers use their bodies and voices on stage to project an air of confidence, authority, and respect.
Practice in the mirror and with loved ones until it feels more natural to own and speak your truth, and then take that attitude out into the world.
When we put someone or something on a pedestal, we believe that the person is better than us or that it is out of our reach. We start to compare ourselves when we meet people who seem more accomplished, innovative, and successful than us, which diminishes our self-worth and self-confidence and compromises our journey of growth and success.
Comparison has been shown to undermine confidence, according to The Confidence Code by Kay & Shipman (2014), as it magnifies self-doubt and shifts focus away from our accomplishments.
Remember that we are all humans who struggle with moments of self-doubt or even existential crisis. Even the most affluent person may still battle with self-worth and impostor syndrome. Every next level of our lives will demand a different version of ourselves to handle more love, success, and tenacity.
Becoming self-aware of your inner story and limitations will help you nurture your self-worth and present yourself as a valuable friend or connection when conversing with the people you admire. So go for it, and dazzle them with all the qualities that make you unique.
This is also true when you place objects on a pedestal and internalize the belief that, for whatever reason, you don’t deserve certain things. When you want something beautiful and wish you could have it, you come from an energy of lack, convincing yourself that you cannot have it because you are not worthy.
Start highlighting your strengths, appreciating your life experiences, and nurturing your worthiness. People will perceive you the same way you perceive yourself. So, keep raising your self-worth and visualize yourself living in that fantastic house, driving that awesome car, being friends with someone you admire, or hitting that stretch goal. Trust that you have invaluable gifts, and it is your birthright to live in an energy of abundance.
4. Give Yourself Permission to Shine
Society has imposed many obligations on women who get stuck in an endless cycle of giving to the point that they forget how to go after what they want for fear of being labelled selfish or outshining others. Without realizing it, we build this tendency to ask for permission instead of support from our families, partners, managers, or even a higher authority before tackling anything important.
It is time to stand in our power and ask for support from a place of grace. As leaders, we learn to lead by example, and our people will appreciate our candour and how we show up and choose our dreams first.
So, give yourself permission to pursue what you desire guilt-free. The best practice I discovered is by Elizabeth Gilbert in her book “Magic.” She invites us to write ourselves a permission slip by setting a firm intention and commitment.
Write down in your journal:
I am _________________ (your name), and I give myself permission to _____________________________________________________
Date __________ Signature __________
You are welcome to write one or three permission slips for yourself. This is an effective way to empower yourself because only YOU – and no one else – can give yourself permission to do anything. So choose YOU first.
Executive presence is a secret weapon you can develop with time. By betting on yourself and your original plan, harnessing the power of non-verbal communication, celebrating your strengths and uniqueness without comparison, and choosing to empower yourself and your dreams first, you can begin to project more confidence and gravitas in your life and inspire others to do the same.
Sources:
- Mehrabian, A. (1971). Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes. Wadsworth Publishing. [BusinessBalls].
- Cuddy, A. J. (2012). Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are. [TED Talk].
- Shin, J., & Milkman, K. L. (2016). “How Backup Plans Can Harm Goal Pursuit: The Unexpected Downside of Being Prepared for Failure. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 135, 1-9. [TED WPVIP].
- Kay, K., & Shipman, C. (2014). The Confidence Gap. The Atlantic. [Article]
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